The reason why

I went to church last Sunday I was so happy that I went because I was truly blessed by what was said. I attend Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship (OCBF) Dr. Tony Evans in Dallas, Texas.

The thing that stuck out to me was when he talked about the purpose of a testimony. The purpose of a testimony is to confess what God has done for you. It doesn't matter how big or how small it is. Its a public statement. God has been so good to me that I want others to know what Im going through and how did I get through it. My Blog is my testimony. I cant keep it to myself. This blog isn't for me. I want people to see the ups and downs, the whys and hows.

I dont do what I do for me.

Everything I do God gets the glory. I am just a vessel for Him to use. My job is to tell other about Jesus Christ, not just in the things I say but in the things I do. In interviews I may not get a chance to say all the things I want to say or they may not put out all the things I said. In my blog I can say what I want. I don't have to hold back.

You may not agree with whats said or how its said. I pray that you can hear my heart. I love what I do and I love Jesus. This is one way how I can show it.

Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.

When it's all said and done! It's ME!

So, I threw today. I did better than my last meet, but it wasn't what I wanted. I threw 18.16m and took 6th place.

I want to feel sorry for myself but then I thought about three people that made me change my mind.

You know I am a people watcher. I watch and listen. I believe that you have a goal you are trying to accomplish watch those who are doing it or have done it.

There are 3 people I admire in my sport: Chante Howard-Lowe, David Oliver, and Lolo Jones.

The first person was Chante Howard-Lowe. She has had a great season this year in the high jump. She set the American Record at 2'05m. When I saw her at Nationals I can look at her body and could tell that she had put some work in. She look really fit! Her ABS OMG! Are great!

When she broke the AR to see her reaction! I wanted to cry with her. It was a celebration paired with a sigh of relief. You work so hard for something then to finally get it! I love to see people in that moment! All of those days, months, and years, of HARD WORK! Finally paid off!

I meet her in Beijing 2008. I remember her saying that she warms up and stretch for 30 min everyday! I asked her why? She said that she has to stay flexible to jump and it helps prevent injury. 2009 in Berlin she was in the airport doing ABS!

Man come on! Who does abs in the airport. She said that she had to finish her work out. I guess you can say hard work pays off! 2010 she makes it look so easy to jump over that bar. She didn't win this last meet. She knows she can beat the girl who had beat her. She has already jumped higher than her this year. I can't wait to see her jump again! I know she already knows what she needs to do!

What I love about Chante is that she is dedicated. She sticks to what she needs to do. Going that extra mile!

The next person I just really got to know this year is David Oliver!

What I love about him is his confidence. I have never felt a since of doubt from him. Some people may say he's cocky! I don't think so! I believe that people who know that they are the best have to have confidence about everything they do!

When you step on that line, ring, or runway, its just you. Your voice is the last voice you hear! You have to be sure of yourself. When you leave room for doubt, it shows!

David knows what he needs to do, how to do it, and when to do it! I talk to his coach Brooks and I see why David is so sure of himself. His coach has that same feel to him. He has been coaching for so long and been around the sport he knows what kind of mind set you need to execute!

Last but not least LoLo Jones. I remember when Lolo went down in the 100m hurdles 2009 at Drake relays! She was so upset. I think her feelings was more hurt than her leg. That injury had her miss the rest of the 2009 season.

Lolo went to work! She wanted to prove a point in 2010. She showed up in indoor ready to bust some heads. When she won Indoor Worlds she celebrated so hard. People say that she overreacted. I don't think so. I almost cried watching her because I knew what it meant to her. It wasn't just a win. It was a message Lolo sent to Lolo. She worked so hard to come back from an injury people wasn't sure how would she come back from. She had put all she had into that one moment and hope for a great outcome! She got what she was looking for. In that short 60m meant the world to her.

From these three people I see things in them that I have to work on. Well not work that I need to get!

Dedication- Do the little things everyday! They separate who's great from who's good!

Confidence- Not just in me and my ability. Confidence in my coaches. My Dad and Jon!

Heart-Put everything I have into what I do. Don't save nothing! Put it all out on the table!

I never told any of them what I thought about them. I appreciate what they do! They just do them thats the best thing anyone can do!

Yea my season may not be what I want it to be. I have to keep pushing, believe it, and do it whole heartedly! It may takes days, it may take months, or years! But Im tired of just barely making it! I believe that I am the best! Now its time to act like it! Im not a baby anymore. I've been a professional for 3 years now.

I know what it takes to be great but just been scared to put myself out there. I have to make some major changes! Let some things go. When its all said and done the only person stopping me is ME!

Peace of mind

One thing that I love about what I do, is the traveling.

I love to travel. I love going to new places, and seeing new things. The best part about traveling is I am by myself!!!

Sounds a little selfish! (I know) I love the fact they I can just focus on myself.

If there is one thing that I need to improve on is learning how to say no. I can't be everywhere all the time and do everything. I always try to be super women. This year I realize that I can't be superwomen. When I try, something suffers. 9 times out of 10 I get the short end of the stick.

I'm the one that ends up tired and stressed out. When I travel I get to relax! Breathe! I look at who Michelle is and what Michelle really wants! There are a lot of expectations that I try to meet. The only expectation that matters is God's. It's not hard wanting to please those who are around you. You don't want to let them down!

One thing about my sport is that when we (athletes) get together we all have the same mind set. Prior to the meet everyone is going to bed early. No one is bugging anyone. You leave all drama where it is and you focus on the common goal- To WIN. There is no room for other stuff. You need to be mentally free.

I don't like feeling that I have to call or see you. When actually you are the last thing on my mind. If I don't feel like talking I should not have to. I don't bug you at work! Don't bug me when I am at work!

Over here, my phone don't ring. I call to check in with my parents let them know that I'm OK. Check in with my coach to get my workouts. If you really want to keep up with me hit me up via Facebook or Twitter. Ill get to you when I get to you. ( a little harsh)

I like waking up and just sitting there listening to my music, thinking about what I want to get done in practice, and what needs to happen at this next meet.

That's it!

So simple!

No stress!

A peace of mind!

All I need to do, is figure out how to do that at home! LOL!

Pain

I took a taxi today and my cab driver was telling me about this shooter that has been on the loose for about a week. The guy shot and killed his ex-girl friend and her new partner and was about to kill himself. Then he said to me men are always doing something crazy behind a women. I said that's true, but its not our faults. Then I said that war start because of women. and he said yea and religion. I said that's true! Then he asked me if I was religious. I told him I was a Christian. He told me that he wasn't, so I asked him why?

His Dad died at the age of 47 of a massive heart attack! He don't understand why would God let such horrible things happen to good people. Does He wants all the good people in heaven. What about those who are left? He lost his best friend that had two brain tumors and left 2 small children, now they have to grow up with out a dad. Then he asked what about the Muslims that kill innocent people, in the name of religion. Why would a God so good let such horrible things happen!?!

He said that people try to force people to believe their faith. I told him that that's not how its done. People don't want to feel forced. In my head i know that Jesus is all about love, forgiveness and patients. I wanted to listen to him and let him know I heard him. I felt at that moment I did need to say anything. He already knew that I was a Christian. That's all he needed to know.

That hurt my heart so bad that all these things has happened to him and he feels that God don't care.

Mr taxi driver,

I prayed for you before I got out of your cab. I may not ever see you and you may never see me. I want you to know that as humans there are many things that God does that we don't understand. But He does. You may not see past all the hurt and pain but God hears you! He knows you have been hurt and you have turned away. He has never left you. I cant tell you why those things happened to you but I know that you are still here on this earth for a reason. Events happen in life so that we can show others how to continue to live when all hell breaks loose.

I pray that God keeps His hands of protection around you and that He touches your heart in a way that you know that He is real! He sent His son to die for you and Jesus has felt the pain you felt. You are not alone!

May God bless you and your family. May God continue to give you strength!

In Jesus name I pray AMEN!